Lifestyle

We have read that love is patient and it is kind. But, how does love flourish for a lifetime? Meet four area couples who were wed over 50 years ago and gain insight to a long-lasting marriage as they reminisce over their love stories.

B.J. & Peg

B.J. and Peg Novotny met accidentally. “I had a date with a girl in New Prague, two houses up from where Peg lived,” B.J. says. “My friend had a date with Peg’s cousin who was staying at her house.” When his date wasn’t able to go out, B.J. asked Peg to come along. “I didn’t want to go that night,” Peg says. “My cousin told me I had to come. So, I went and it was okay. He was a nice boy.”

“I’d seen Peg a couple of times before that,” B.J. remembers. “The first time, she was walking home – she had on a really ratty looking fur coat but it was knee length and she had terrific legs. It was pretty hard to ignore them.”

Since Peg was only 16 when 18-year-old B.J. asked her out, they spent a number of years “drifting.” B.J. says, “When I was in the service, we corresponded often. But, my side of the letters were ‘I love you’ and hers were all about what the gang was doing in New Prague.”

“There were a lot of years when we were off and on,” Peg says. “He was in the service and I was still in high school and then in college. There were other things and other boys and things to do.”

“I asked her to marry me many times over the years,” B.J. says. Peg remembers saying, “Yes, but later.” On June 26, 1948, when they were 24 and 22, the couple was married at St. Wenceslaus Catholic Church in New Prague, Minnesota. B.J. and Peg went to Colorado for their honeymoon. “We stayed at the Nevada Motel in Colorado Springs for $3.50 a night,” Peg says, “and the Brown Palace in mid-town Denver at $14.00 a night.”

B.J. and Peg have three children: Chris, Mary and Tim. B.J. spent many years in the insurance business. Peg worked at a bank and for an attorney. When the kids started school, she volunteered in the classrooms and library at St. Wenceslaus School until the kids left for college.

“B.J. loves to hunt and fish and he still loves to go to Canada. And, he did that every summer, sometimes six or seven times,” Peg explains. “That gave me days to do as I pleased. I could stay up all night and work on a project or I could go shopping all day and not worry about what time I had to get home.”

Peg’s advice for a long marriage is to have patience and to live it one day at a time. “You get up in the morning and you commit all over again. We’ll get through this day together. Then, the good times make up for all the other times and we had lots of good times,” Peg says. “I think it’s absolutely fantastic and amazing that we have made it 60 years. There seems to be something really special about these ‘after sixty’ years.”

B.J.’s favorite thing about Peg: Her consistency. She’s a great organizer. Take charge organizer.

Peg’s favorite thing about B.J.: He sings. He’s a very, very helpful mate. He’s always there when I get myself into trouble.

Mel & Marie

Even though Mel and Marie Cook grew up only two and a half miles apart, they didn’t meet until high school. “I had only heard of her,” Mel says. One day, when Marie was babysitting at Mel’s cousin’s house, Mel stopped by and the two finally met. “After that, it just kind of took off,” Marie says. They started going out together in August 1954 and Mel proposed four months later.

“We waited a year and a half, until my brother got back from the service to get married,” Mel says. In the meantime, Mel built a house for them near Comfrey, Minnesota. They were married on April 16, 1956. After the wedding, Mel and Marie settled into life on the farm.

The Cooks have ten children. “We did a lot of traveling with our family when they were little,” Mel says. Some of their favorite trips include northern Minnesota and Canada. The family also went to the Black Hills in South Dakota. Nine kids in tow, the Cooks drove to South Dakota in a big, GMC suburban. “When we’d stop, Marie would stay in one room with the girls and I’d stay in another with the boys,” Mel remembers.

Mel has farmed his entire life and continues to do so. He is also an insurance agent. Marie worked at AUI (now Norwood Publishing) in Sleepy Eye, Minnesota, for 18 years before retiring. In their spare time, the Cooks have always enjoyed baseball. Mel played left field for the Sleepy Eye Indians amateur baseball team. “I went to a lot of baseball games over the years,” Marie says. “Back when we were first married, he was playing already.” In 1987, Mel was inducted into the Minnesota Amateur Baseball League Hall of Fame.

With their 53rd anniversary fast approaching, the Cooks have some valuable insight into a happy, healthy marriage. “You need to work through problems. You can’t just say ‘that’s it’ and quit. Everybody has problems. We’ve been happily married but we still had a little difference here and there,” Marie says. “I think staying busy helps, too,” Mel adds. “It’s a different world today than when we got married. It was a more easy-going, slower time.”

“We’re not home a whole lot these days,” Marie says. With 20 grandchildren and five great-grandchildren, the couple stays busy being active in their lives. They especially enjoy watching the children play baseball. Mel and Marie also travel on occasion. “Our kids always say it’s getting to the point that they have to make reservations to see us,” Mel laughs.

The Cooks credit their marriage a lot to the good people that surround them. “It’s been a fun 52 years,” Mel says.

Mel’s favorite thing about Marie: “She’s always easy to get along with. When I played ball all those years and was gone, she did chores when I didn’t get home and couldn’t do them.”

Marie’s favorite thing about Mel: “Almost the same thing. He isn’t hard to get along with. We can talk things out and he’s willing to listen. We’ve worked things out. He never was a drinker or anything.”

Rita & Harvey

Rita and Harvey Kirchner met in their senior year of high school. A “spoiled” girl living with her grandparents, Rita remembers how handsome Harvey looked when the two were eyeing one another while out with friends. “One night, Harvey came to my house and asked me out,” Rita says. “We went to the movies and we held hands while watching the show.

Afterwards, he kissed me and it happened! It was just like in the movies. I couldn’t believe it was real – I had never felt that way!” Harvey adds, “I could have married you right then.”

Following their dreamlike date, Harvey and Rita wanted to see each other every day. One evening, Harvey’s car wouldn’t start. Rita says, “He asked his dad if he could borrow the car and he said, ‘No, stay away from her one night!’” So, Harvey walked. “It was just four miles,” he says with a smile.

On the July 5, 1947, Harvey and Rita Kirchner eloped to Northwood, Iowa. “Grandma went along so we could lie about our age and look legitimate,” Rita says.

The 19-year-old couple purchased a marriage license for $1.50 and, on their way to the minister’s house, they picked flowers at a local woman’s garden. “We asked her, ‘How much for the flowers?’ She said, ‘A quarter.’ So, the whole thing cost us $1.75,” Rita laughs.

The couple kept the marriage a secret for two weeks to ensure it wouldn’t be annulled. Harvey and Rita spent their first year living with Rita’s grandparents. “I was spoiled,” Rita says. “I had never done a dish, never cooked anything and never made a bed. Harvey had to raise me.” In 1948, Harvey built their first home – a tiny house the size of a double car garage.

Harvey spent many years in construction. The couple moved 11 times, always into a home Harvey built. Rita exclaims, “He even built me a castle once!” The couple now resides in Inver Grove Heights, Minnesota. They have two children, three grandchildren and three great grandchildren.

This summer, Harvey and Rita will celebrate 62 happy years of marriage. Their daughter Rollie Brandt says, “The only thing they had going for them was love, good health and time…time together and determination to stick it out through thick and thin.” Harvey and Rita marvel at their love. “We found that spark and I don’t know why,” Rita says. “Look for that magic to happen, it just doesn’t happen every day.”

Rita’s favorite thing about Harvey: “His protectiveness and caring all the time. And, him helping raise me. He’s a good father too.”

Harvey’s favorite thing about Rita: “I never met anybody who smiles and laughs like she can. She’s just a wonderful wife and always so pretty to look at.”

Harriet & Elmer

Ninety-six year old Elmer Anderson and his bride, Harriet, 95, tell of years past and the love that has held them together for three quarters of a century. In their hometown of Elmore, Minnesota, the two knew of one another while growing up but it wasn’t until Harriet began working as a waitress that they began going together.

“I got acquainted with Harriet when she was working at my sister’s restaurant,” Elmer remembers. Harriet adds, “I was going with another guy at the same time and, when Elmer asked me out, I guess I decided to just go with him.” Earning two dollars a week, Harriet also worked as a “hired girl.” Back then, a mother had to stay in bed for nine days after giving birth, “I would do housework and help with the care of a mother and a new baby.” When helping at a neighbor’s house, Elmer would ride a horse over to see Harriet.

Elmer remembers a time when nothing was done by machine and when all the work was done by hand. “The summer before we were married, I worked for a neighbor on a farm – I was paid fifty cents for working a whole day – all summer. Fifteen dollars a month was all I got,” Elmer says. “I picked corn by hand for a couple farmers. Corn wasn’t worth hardly anything – I was only paid a cent a bushel to pick corn.”

The couple married on September 27, 1933, in the church parsonage. They couldn’t afford to have wedding pictures taken so Elmer and Harriet had their wedding portrait taken in 1937, four years later. After renting a farm to live on, in 1941 they moved to Elmer’s parent’s farm near Elmore, Minnesota.

The couple shares a lifetime of stories together. Elmer recalls an event that happened early in their marriage. “I had to go to town to get a part for machinery,” Elmer says. “She wanted to go along to go to the store. Well, I forgot all about her and went on home.” When asked if she was angry at him, Harriet says, “Yeah. He didn’t notice until he turned in the driveway and saw I wasn’t along. He was so busy thinking about repairing the machinery.”

Elmer and Harriet remember years of working hard and the joy in raising their children. “We had three children but we lost our little one,” Harriet says. “He had leukemia.” Married for 75 years, Elmer and Harriet have a family legacy that spans generations: they have two grown children, seven grandchildren, eight great grandchildren and three great, great grandchildren. The family was present as the couple celebrated their milestone anniversary at St. Luke’s Lutheran Care Center where they both now reside in Blue Earth, Minnesota.

To sum up their love story, Harriet says, “We met at the restaurant and have been together ever since.”

Harriet’s favorite thing about Elmer: “He’s always been a good husband. We always had plenty to eat.”

About Harriet, Elmer quietly states, “I guess we always got along okay.”

IN MEMORY OF Elmer Anderson and Marie Cook

Elmer passed away on November 24, 2008 at the age of 96.

Marie passed away on December 28, 2008 at the age of 73.

It was an honor to have met them both and to have had the opportunity to share their stories.