Features

“We grew up as neighbors, played together and then went through the time where we hated each other,” is Kamra (Kami) Knaack’s response when asked how she met her husband, Rusty. Fortunately the story has a happy ending: They began dating in their last years of high school and married the year after Kami graduated. She has a degree in architectural drafting and worked at Mankato Kasota Stone for several years before they started their family. Rusty is a forklift operator at Armour Ekrich in St. James, Minnesota.

They are now parents to five children ranging from three months to five years old. Their determination to be parents has been a combination of heartbreak, love and timing.

Undeterred by the devastating news that they would be physically unable to have a child, they immediately began to pursue the adoption process. Kami says, “We skipped fertility treatments. There are many children who need adoption, especially children with disabilities who sometimes remain in the system forever.”

The Knaacks were told that they would likely get a child between the ages of 5 and 14. Kami says, “We didn’t care. We just wanted a child to love.” After only two weeks they received a call about a baby with Down syndrome. They met the couple who were contemplating placing their child up for adoption, “It was so hard for them,” Kami recalls. “They were young; the dad had just lost his job. They decided to do what was best for their child and we adopted Nickolas when he was one month old.”

Several months later, they learned that Kami’s physically and mentally handicapped sister was pregnant as a result of the sexual exploitation of a vulnerable adult. Kami had just experienced a miscarriage. The emotional circumstances still bring tears to Kami’s eyes as she explains, “My mom had just been divorced and was not in a situation where she could take care of my sister’s child. We were told that the baby would be born with disabilities but it was something we knew we were supposed to do.”

Kristiana, who they call Ana, was born with spina bifida, hydrocephalus and other conditions including bilateral club feet. An hour after her birth, Ana underwent surgery to close up her spinal cord area and put in a VP shunt. Rusty and Kami welcomed their second child home when Nick was 18 months old.

Eight months later, Kami gave birth to William. “Nickolas went from being an only child to a brother of two siblings in a short amount of time,” she says. With three little ones at home under the age of three, Kami became pregnant again and baby Jenavieve was born June 22, 2008.

The blessings continued in December, 2008 with the arrival of newborn baby Ehrich through foster care with custody transferred to them. It is hard to imagine life with five small children – two of whom have special needs. Kami views it as her calling, “I can’t imagine myself doing anything else right now.”

The Knaacks were living in a small house and had been looking for a large home that would fit the many needs of their growing family when they were encouraged to apply for a Habitat for Humanity home being built in St. James. They were chosen and moved into the four-bedroom 2,800 square foot handicap-accessible home in 2007.

With the additional space available, Kami and Rusty became licensed for day care and as foster parents. They currently have a teenage foster son and five day care children. They are having the basement finished and can soon use that area exclusively for her day care.

With five small children, Kami and Rusty struggle to find time to communicate and spend time together, “As soon as Rusty comes home from work, he helps me. We split all of the work. It’s hard to have a meal together when the kids need attention right away and two babies to feed.” Even the simple task of buying groceries requires planning, “Shopping is challenge, sometimes I try to take everyone along but I end up with two babies crying, a five-year-old taking things off the shelf and putting them in the cart and a three-year-old in the cart throwing the things back out. So now I go by myself on Fridays.”

Nickolas is in kindergarten and Ana attends an early childhood special education preschool and a home-based preschool. Simply keeping track of the logistical issues is complicated and monitoring the individual education plans and goals for each child is essential. The family is fortunate to also receive the services of personal care attendants who lovingly and professionally assist them wherever needed. In addition, Kami says, “I took a class on becoming an advocate last year. I went one weekend each month in the Twin Cities and it has really helped me determine what resources are available for children and what I can do to get them what they need in life.”

Kami’s face glows as she talks about her children and their distinctive characteristics:

Nickolas

Change is hard for him. When we moved into our house it took us at least two or three months to get him settled. He’s smart as a whip. He can’t really verbally express himself. Sometimes this leads to emotional breakdowns until we can figure it out.

Kristiana

She is the child we were told would never walk and she is now walking independently. We wouldn’t let ourselves believe that she would never walk so we just kept pushing until she did it. I’ll never forget her first step. She is now in dance and it provides a great outlet for her dramatic side. She doesn’t let anything get her down. She will fight for what she wants. The other kids may try to bully her, but she is strong and holds her ground. I don’t see her ever giving up on anything in life.

William

William is our first birth child. He was never supposed to happen. He is full of tantrums, but then gives me a winning smile. He keeps me on my feet. Sometimes he’s takes more attention than Nick and Ana.

Jena and Ehrich

Both babies are mellow. Their sweet dispositions are a perfect balance in our family.

So what is the source of Kami’s strength, motivation and courage? “Nick and my sister have really inspired me. If it weren’t for my sister, I wouldn’t be who I am; I wouldn’t be an advocate. My sister made me see the world in a different way. She takes things as they come, sees the best in everyone and lives in the moment.”

“But most of all, my mom. She is my rock. I thank her every day for her decision to keep my sister at home. My sister was not even supposed to live more than 48 hours. She’s now 23 and it’s all because of my mom. She’s an amazing woman who has gone through so much.” It was hard for the family. Kami’s dad was gone much of the time and her mother had to work to provide for the family, “Sometimes I had to stay home and take care of my sister when she was sick so my mom could work and make ends meet for us. Mom modeled what it is not to look at people with disabilities as a burden.”

Kami’s desire to advocate for individuals with disabilities led her to organize Southern Minnesota’s first Buddy Walk to promote awareness and inclusion for people with Down syndrome. It was not easy, but with the help of The Arc of Southwest Minnesota and local sponsors, this year will be the fourth annual event. More than 100 walkers raise money through pledges for Down syndrome research. Nationally last year the Buddy Walk raised more than $6.5 million to benefit local programs and services as well as education, research and advocacy initiatives.

Extended family support is important to Rusty and Kami, “Our family is really helpful. They take the kids for a weekend when we need a break and always willing to lend a hand at a moments notice.” Like most mothers, it’s hard for Kami to take time for herself, “I recently started making quilts and doing some scrapbooking. I don’t have much time but I try to take a little time for myself at night. I also enjoy photography.” In addition, she writes a column about disability awareness for the local newspaper.

Modestly, Kami sums up her life, “I don’t feel like I’ve done anything remarkable. I don’t do what I do just for my children, but for everyone who cannot advocate for themselves because they may have the words – but no one wants to listen to them.”