Features

By Katlyn Smith

Thousands of women across the world are diagnosed with and treated for breast cancer every year. The procedure is always the same—the diagnosis, the options and the treatment—but, ultimately, every story is unique. Each person learns and experiences something different. For many the gift of a second chance brings new perspective and change. For others, time becomes more precious than gold.

Elizabeth Winters, an elementary teacher from Janesville, Minnesota, understands this well. When Elizabeth’s mother Kristy Fude was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1999, they longed for something no one could give them: time. “We were always very close. I found that I cherished every moment a little more after the diagnosis though. I remember that once she told me I should start spending time with my other friends. She was worried about me being alone when she was gone. To me, it was all the more important to spend time with her.”

After successfully beating the cancer with chemo and radiation, Kristy was warned that if the cancer ever returned, there was nothing the doctors could do except prolong her life. Sadly, in 2001, the cancer returned. “I still believed that she would be the miracle you read about and that it would somehow disappear,” says Elizabeth. But it didn’t, and after another shot at both chemo and radiation, Kristy died.

At the time of Kristy’s first diagnosis in 1999, Elizabeth was preparing for her marriage to Brandon Winters. Her sister Amanda had completed her first year of college. Her twin sisters Amy and Allison had graduated from high school, and her 14-year-old brother Joe was moving into his freshman year of high school. Kristy was an elementary teacher at Janesville-Waldorf-Pemberton, the same school Elizabeth had attended, completed her student teaching and interviewed for a job two weeks before her wedding.

Needless to say, Kristy was an active part of Elizabeth’s life. They shopped together, decorated together and had many of the same friends. The initial blow of the first diagnosis worried the family but was nothing compared to the devastating, fatal certainty of the second diagnosis. Elizabeth still remembers the fear in her mother’s eyes when the cancer returned. Kristy had made it a point to tell her children she had done everything she could. “The most difficult thing was to see how scared she was. She was my best friend and I couldn’t stand the thought of her being scared, or worse yet, not being there at all.”

In her last year, Kristy put more emphasis on returning to normality, despite the treatments. Though many days she looked tired or weak, she wanted to be at school doing what she loved. “She loved teaching and it meant a lot to her to have some normalcy.” Elizabeth noticed her mother’s frustration when others focused solely on her illness. “She was still our mom, a teacher, a wife. She still did normal things.” Elizabeth saw teaching as her mother’s way of escape. Because her class didn’t understand the seriousness of the disease, they didn’t focus on it. To them, every day was normal.

Elizabeth, however, knew that life would never be normal again. When her mother died, she went through a period of anger and confusion. “It bothered me to hear about mothers who abused their children, and to think that she was the one going through all of this.” Elizabeth credits her dad, Dennis Fude, as the family’s rock. “He is the reason that we didn’t fall to pieces as a collective bunch. What he and my mom created in our family was a sense of closeness that has never wavered. He gave us strength we didn’t know we had to get through the most difficult time in our lives.”

Over time and with support from her family, the loss became less intimidating. “I don’t know that you really ever overcome the grief of death. Grief comes in and goes in waves; the waves just space out a bit more with time.” So, in hopes of preventing other families from suffering, Elizabeth and her sister Amanda Place participated in their first Susan G. Komen 5k this past Mother’s Day. “Neither of us is a runner, but both of us wanted to do it. When it was tough and would have been easy to quit, I would think about all that she went through. It made it a little easier to pick up my feet and keep moving.”

Laurie Oftedahl from Pemberton, Minnesota, is a breast cancer survivor with a unique story as well. “In February of 2006, my sister was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It was tough for everyone; you don’t know what to do. How can you go forward? Then, on April Fool’s day, less than two months later, I found a lump in my right breast.”

Knowing that her family was already suffering from her sister’s illness, Laurie decided to take one step at a time. If the lump was diagnosed as malignant, she would tell the family. Monday morning she made the call and was rushed in for an afternoon appointment. “They move quickly when you call and say you’ve found a lump,” says Laurie.

When the doctor thought it warranted further testing, Laurie wrestled with how to tell her family that another child may have cancer, but when she met with her long-term family doctor in Mankato, she knew it had been confirmed and must find a way to tell them. “I went to the appointment to find out the results and got in right at the appointed time—a bit unusual, and therefore, telling.”

As she listened to the comfort from the doctor, Laurie felt an inner force develop within her, determining that she would not give in to death. “It was like a switch had been flipped and it became a ‘git-r-done’ process.”

The following months began with a lumpectomy and continued with both chemo and radiation. Laurie, however, refused to let her family see her in such conditions before she herself knew how she would react to the treatments. “July 5 was the first treatment. It was the first time that I actually remember yelling at my mom as an adult. She so badly wanted to go, but I needed to do it alone.” Laurie remembers being that way as a child as well, “I would say I was independent…my family may have another word for that.”

As the treatments continued, Laurie was able to grow closer to her sister. They compared medicines, processes and simply confided in each other. Unfortunately, Laurie’s sister didn’t make it, and on February 14, 2007, the same day as Laurie’s last radiation appointment, her sister was laid to rest. “I was glad that I was able to walk the path partway with her,” says Laurie. Laurie believes the timing of her diagnosis was, in part, to giver her sister what she called a sounding board: someone who understood a bit more than the rest of the family, someone to try on wigs with, someone to laugh with and cry with.

One would think that after seeing another family member wrestle and pass away from cancer, Laurie would feel overwhelmed and even hopeless about her own situation. However, that wasn’t the case for her. In fact, Laurie adopted a completely contradictory mentality. “Having a grandmother and two aunts diagnosed with cancer had previously taught me that how you react to the diagnosis is almost more important than the diagnosis.” Though told she only had four weeks to live, Laurie’s aunt chose to fight and, ultimately, survived another five years.

Today, Laurie is alive and well, helping fight breast cancer thanks to her positive attitude. “I tend to deal with stress by finding humor where I can,” says Laurie. “It became obvious to me that there are quite a few things about the cancer process that can be quite humorous, if you choose to look at it that way.” A young boy at the fair asked Laurie if she had “hair cancer.” Then, after being on Weight Watchers for a year, she was flabbergasted when they told her to eat as often as she could. “Everyday there was something to laugh about.”

Tammy Schwandt, also from Janesville, MN, battled breast cancer in July 2009 while expecting her fourth child, due in October. A marble-sized lump rested just below her collarbone. Thinking it could be pregnancy-related, she wasn’t too worried about it, but decided to get it checked out regardless. An ultrasound of breast tissue and a biopsy of the lump proved otherwise. “Because I was pregnant, things were more complicated and my Mankato Clinic OB doctor recommended that I be seen at the Mayo Clinic for a total-care approach by the OB department and the breast cancer department which included oncology, surgery and plastic surgery.”

In September 2009 Tammy had a bi-lateral mastectomy accompanied with an immediate breast reconstruction. The cancer was completely removed and, fortunately, no lymph nodes were affected. Despite the success, however, Tammy’s battle wasn’t over. The doctor recommended eight rounds of chemotherapy due to her young age.

Tammy’s labor was induced two weeks early for a longer recovery period. In November, she began her first round of treatments. “Everything was difficult, but made totally bearable with God’s peace and strength.”

Though being pregnant made the physical journey more trying, the joy of anticipating the new baby’s arrival made the “why-me’s?” easier to handle, says Tammy. Faith, she says, is what kept her going and gave her energy to fight both physically and emotionally. “My family has nurtured me with a strong faith that God is in control of everything. I was not able to control any of it. I could only make decisions and have faith that God would work the results out to His benefit. It’s an incredible feeling to have that kind of peace.”

Many people see cancer as a devastating tragedy; after all, who wouldn’t? But each of these women have found a positive, life-changing lesson in the fight against this crippling disease.

For Elizabeth, the loss of her mother allowed her to interact with her husband and children in a new way. “Losing my mom at what I consider to be a young age has really made me think about my own family. I think of everything I do with them as a memory being made. I certainly don’t plan on leaving this earth early, but I do know that each day is a day I influence the kind of person my boys will be. I try to make the most of it.”

Laurie, too, has made some changes in her life. As a result of her own journey with breast cancer, Laurie often thought about the difficulty of living life as normally as possible. Convenience isn’t easy when there are so many things to keep track of. Hundreds of papers, memorizing generations of family history, and all of this added to the need for rest and conserving energy; so much to remember and nowhere to keep track. Thus, “Journals for Your Journey” was born, a business created by Laurie in order to fulfill such a need. “Now that I am on the survivor side of cancer, I found I was carrying a notebook around with all the fun little details of my life and thought: wouldn’t it be great to have that in a nice little binder so I could tuck it anywhere.”

The idea of the journal is to hold both important medical information and personal details or experiences. The journals are divided into two styles: the Long-term Illness Journal and the Medical Journal. Each journal documents the journey in a way that helps each patient or caregiver release frustrations and emotions, and yet, maintain an organized system of filing, all in one place. In this way, Laurie has helped others deal with their illness and tell their story in the same way she did.

Tammy’s appreciation for the body has grown as well. In addition to becoming more organized and preparing for any circumstance, she is making more of an effort to maintain a healthy lifestyle. One of these ways is through food. “I am currently doing research on my own about healthy eating and what food does for our body. God’s design for our body is truly amazing. The way it functions, the way it heals. God has provided everything natural for us and over time we have really distorted the food we consume. I’m learning to get back to the basics: whole foods, unprocessed if possible.”

Life has often been called a rollercoaster. There are twists and turns we can’t control, flips and dips we barely see, and times we wish the ride would simply end. But when tragedy strikes, the passion and desire to live and see the world rises up within us. We see things in a fresh and beautiful way. We adopt a new way of living and make the most of what we have.