Lifestyle

Recently, a few people mentioned that they were upset by something bad said about them by someone they know.

We’ve all had it happen – someone you know and/or love mentions something bad about you to a friend or family member. After first hearing about it you feel upset or angry and consider retaliating with your own unkind verbal abuse. It can be really hard to know what to do with your hurt feelings – that has exposed itself as anger – which can bruise your sometimes-sensitive self-esteem. Here are a few suggestions to help you find peace when this unpleasant situation suddenly broadsides you.

1. First of all, determine whether you feel what they said is a true statement or not. Is it something that can make you better or something the gossiper needs to address and deal with in his/her own life and attitudes? There is a wonderful strength we receive when we realize humility is our friend and not our enemy. If the information can make you better, accept the event as a gift that exposed you to be the person God planned you to be.

2. Realize you can’t control the attitudes of others but you can control your attitudes and responses to them, which will eventually control your inner peace. Give up the idea that you can ever change or control another human being. Say a little prayer, asking God to help you put your efforts into the only thing you can truly control… yourself. Realize the blessing you will enjoy by controlling your responses to unpleasant events in your life.

3. Decide to be secure in the person you are. Don’t find your security by what others say but by whom you know you were created to be. All of us are going to stumble from time to time. Make a choice to really try to do the right things and when someone calls you on what you feel was the right thing for you – stand secure in your choices and attitudes. I know without a doubt I truly try to do what is right all of the time, although I fall into mistakes more often then I like. Know the dialogue of your conversations with yourself, realizing you truly do want to make the best decisions from the information you have been given, yet knowing you can not ever be perfect all the time. I have decided that all I can really offer society is my best try, given my shortcomings.

4. Realize everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. Do not become a victim to other’s opinions of you. In regard to personal decisions, one thing is for sure; everyone is entitled to their own opinion, yet they are not entitled to everyone else’s. This goes for you as well. It seems easier to let it go when we realize we want permission to keep our opinions so let’s be free to give others theirs. Realize that we are guilty of an occasional opinion spoken about others as well.

5. If you made a mistake, ask for forgiveness and make a commitment to do better in the future. Know your future choices can either prove the person wrong or right about what they said about you. We can’t change the past, but we can try to change their future and ours.

Always remember that as long as you have air entering your lungs, you will have to ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness from time to time. It’s simply a part of being in relationships.

Live and enjoy others to your fullest!